Here I am…
I can’t sleep… lots on my mind I guess you could say.
Mainly, impressions and relationships, not only romantic ones, but family and friendships too, and the relationships I have with random people I meet everyday. Working in the salon industry I meet SO many people, and also being part of the bar industry scene…I often wonder what kind of person people make me out to be, by first impression, looks and attitude, lots of piercings and the way I dress/look/wear my make up must have an effect… and my attitude… most of the time I can be caught actin a fool, laughing out loud at dumb stuff, or not smiling. I hear all the time, “Smile”, “Whats wrong?”, “Why aren’t you having fun?” and 99% of the time I am having fun or nothing is wrong, idk what it is about me, but I hate smiling. Also, I question how peoples opinion changes after meeting me.
But back to relationships, I love my relationships with my friends, I could not ask for more from any of them. Also my family, who I wish i spent WAYY more time with… but soon enough hopefully… Romantically, there is always a part of me that has the need to be close to somebody, I don’t know if its because of things in my past or what, I always want to be giving someone I care about 100% of myself…As much as being single is awesome, it’s just as awesome… if not more going to sleep next to a person who feels the same way about you. I feel like there is not enough time to give to someone what I want in return, and that they will most likely feel the same way, and thats not a good feeling, especially when what you want is right in front of you. I don’t understand why people throw away a good thing, mainly…That is what I am questioning right now. Oh Well…
I guess all this is just me rambling because I can’t sleep.
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around
I’ve been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down
And its taking me this long but baby I figured you out
And you think it will be fine again but not this time around
You don’t have to call anymore
I won’t pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don’t want to hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you’re sorry
But I won’t believe you baby like I did before
You’re not sorry no more
